You may find a V10 with most, maybe all of those options. You will not find a V6 with all of them...the air suspension alone is *very* difficult to find. I've seen two on the market since November...missed one by an hour, bought the other.Looking for either a late model V10 Toureg TDI (08-09) or the V6 TDi (2010) with the same body style.
Would prefer black exterior on black leather interior.
... One can dream... right?
So you have two decisions to make...
1 - V6 versus V10. Are you willing to put up with the complexity and cost of the V10?
2 - What options are deal breakers?
Some of the options you list, such as lane departure warning and adaptive speed control, were available in 2009 but not 2010. (See MotorTrend's option list for each model year.)
The search is part of the fun. I drove my first TDI Touareg in 2011, bought my '10 V6 TDI in November. (I wasn't actively looking most of that time).
And of course a well kept car with more miles and fewer options is usually a better deal than an abused car with all the goodies. In my case, I was very fortunate...I found a well kept car, with all the goodies available in 2010, from an amazing forum member (thanks Pilot!), only a couple of hours from me.