I know this is an old post, but if you're reading it, you likely have a T3 that you're wiring up for a controller. I just did this 10 days ago in preparation for (finally!) hooking a travel trailer to our Touareg and camping for a weekend. Mine is a 2016 TDI LUX, and one of the last TDI Touaregs brought into the USA. It was held at the dealer brand-new as it was shipped just as the TDI nonsense hit the press.
I found the under dash connector previously, and got the harness and P3, but left them (of course) on a shelf for a year and a half waiting to install in my spare time. That time came in the form of "I've rented a trailer for TOMORROW (!!!), and still don't have an installed brake controller." I'm sure I'm not the only procrastinator here. Anyway, with time working against me, I re-found this thread, and had a look at the following post:
https://forums.tdiclub.com/showthread.php?t=444314
Look at response #12 in regards to the relay. Doesn't sound like it's needed from 2012 on.
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I decided NOT to do the relay, and hooked it up. As it turns out, the issue referenced here deals with display flickering. I didn't know it right off because the TDI is a HOSS, but YOU DO NEED THE RELAY ON 2009+ JUST AS TEKONSHA STATES!!! The brakes will drag slightly without. I know, the harnesses are all over Ebay etc without the relay. Your car, your trailer. If you want it to be right YOU NEED THE RELAY PER TEKONSHA TB0021.
I read that post before wiring up my TReg as well. I called Tekonsha before install, and they said that after more testing, the voltage bleed from the TReg varies based on the electrical use of items bundled in the same loom. This has to do with electromagnetic lines of flux and the types of shielding VW uses. This can cause the voltage reading to the brake controller to be greater than 4.3 volts (which has been programed into the controller to as the max bleed voltage), therefore causing the brakes on the trailer to activate.
I figured spending the $7.00 was a minor expense to alleviate this issue.
Some may be wondering about the battery drain when leaving the brake controller connected. I left it in the car for five days and no appreciable drain was detected. It seems to go to a standby (practically off) when the car is turned off.
For those who think it forgets the settings when unplugged, the P3 does not. It retains the last setting when plugged back in, meaning it has nonvolatile memory. It also has three programs that can be saved. So if you have three trailers, you can program and save the settings for each. If you have a horse trailer, you can set it for empty and full.
I'll be taking the harness out to add the relay this weekend. Interestingly, we towed a 19' bunkhouse trailer 300 miles last weekend, and I still got 13+ MPG on hilly terrain with the trailer brakes partially applied!!!
This is for the people searching for the post: YOU DO NEED THE TRAILER BRAKE RELAY ON A 2009+ TOUAREG PER TEKONSHA TB0021.